I just had the scariest thought running through my mind. I really have no inkling as what is my definition of success !! What I am talking about is like those medium term goals that people sometimes have to symbolizes their success ( Example, when I have rm 1,000,000.00 in the bank I am a success ).Somehow money hasn't really been my idea of a sucessful person, but then what is it ????
I am like 28 years old I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Currently at the moment, I am like stuck in mud. I keep on trying but I am getting nowhere unlike some people who I know that are much younger than me but they like their whole life planned ahead of them. I really envy people who see their life 's goal infront of them coz I really can't see mine. I am like a float floating out in the seas floating where the wind and waves take me. I analyse my pathetic set of skills and a really scary thought runs through my head all the time. The skill set that I have can't ever feed me !! I am still not really good enough in something to bring food to the table. I really should focus on something and expand my skills in that area.
Actually, I am thankful I haven't really found a stable job yet all these months. It has given me a lot of time to stand back and analyse my life ( though sometimes that is not really pleasant and can be rather painful ). I am really thankful I had this opportunity as it has given me a clearer view of who I really am and a small clue as to what I am to do next. I am really bad in planning for myself. ( I hate chess .... so you can guess as much ) but I guess it's time i started !!
Ahhh ... the line at this CC really stinks big time .. wonder if the purposely make it slow so that bloggers like me will spend more time at their machines .... ?
When ever i start using this bloody XP box I start to miss my gentoo running KDE so damn much ... it just feels right ... XP has some design problems as in how the windows appear and the stupid task bar at the bottom of the screen that keeps on readjusting itself ... man I really hate these stuff.
Today I was thinking about how animals actually think. When a male cat sees his mate does he see the beautiful fur as when guys admire the sexy clothes that girls wear ? Or do animals just feel lust ? What would the male cat do if he sees two female cats one with nice fur and another with not so nice fur ... hmmm do animals actually have a concept of beauty when they see each other. Do animals actually feel love ? .... ? I wonder. Some animals spend their whole life with only one mate .... Do they actually feel love or is it actually something much more lower ... more at the instinct level ? .... Hmmm warrants more ..... investigation ...
Hmm one of my students actually want to try out Mandrake. I guess my goal of educating people in Cosmo about Linux did pay off in one student at least ! I got to admit I didn't really think that any of them would actually open up to the idea of Linux but then from my experience now I find that most of the people have just been told that Linux is like this mega confusing and hard OS to use ! Talk about misinformation !! But once they actually experienced how easy it was to get mandrake off the ground and the ease of configuring stuff in it, they actually let their guards down and became a rather inquisitive lot. Nearly all of them wanted to bring mandrake out for a trial run.
I guess there is hope still :) . What's more these students are pretty cool. Initially the idea of being a lecturer didn't really gel with me but now as time goes by I actually miss the hours I am teaching them ! The idea that I am imparting something that might of be use to them in the future and that they think I am pretty cool too is just a pretty darn good feeling !
Hey this blogging stuff is kinda addictive. Great !! Just what I need !! Another unhealthy addiction to my two arms lenght list !! Latest update on the gentoo thingy ... Stuff still doesn't work.
Since it's just after lunch here, I am just gonna let my readers suffer a little by being phillisophical ( did i spell that right ? ). Anyway when I think about the time i spend on gentoo ppl ask me why i bother ... I guess gentoo is like a really bitchy lady that is your girl friend. She is a wonderful girl but only you know coz everybody just sees the bitchy and evil side to her... only gentoo users will understand that this here lady is still da best !! Let me tell you when she turns bitchy even to you, wooohooooo those are da best days.
Using these 'da's reminds me of a pal of yonder ... I wonder where is that fat indian ass of his ... ? ....
I looked through the gentoo forums again because the people on the channel were being brain dead and very *helpful* as usual and i found a link that might / might not be helpful.
Well for what it's worth let me just warn those who are running gentoo-linux not to upgrade to gcc-3.2 first ! When I find a way to upgrade to the new gcc version, without a bootstrap ( reinstalling ) i will post it here.
Ahhh I am up early this morning to find out how the upgrade on my gentoo box is and i am soooooo happy to find now my kde segment faults !! alrite !!!
Again I cut myself on the bleeding edge. I feel so betrayed by the time i put into the upgrade and now people on the channel avoid me like the plague ! Damn bastards ! Bet they are saying "phew ! thank god the stupid bloke tried it and i didn't" Bandaid anyone ?
