I found out that another one of my pals had a similar entry to my entry in this blog yesterday. While our methods for expressing ourselves is the point we differ but it's clear the gist of our entry is the same thing. It's our distaste for this whole bullshit people call corporate politics. Two views of a similar beast.
What scares me though is the thought that one day I might just end up being these people that I hate. It's easy now to dismiss all that thought when the fire inside me burns strong, but what if in time, my dreams are consumed by reponsibility to family and old age ? I wake up in cold sweat at night thinking that these people that I love to hate so much were at one point in time like me. Idealistic, passionate wanting to change the world and not kow-towing to anybody. It scares me that they may have at one point in time been like me and now have degenerated to their present state.
I use this fear to continously challenge myself. It's like a good slap in the face to wake me out of my slumber. Every single day I use it to propel me out of my comfort zone into uncharted teritory. It's the fear that drives me to sit at my box after work sometimes spending 13-14 hours honing my skills on my box... fearing that if i let go of those keys I let go of my dreams... fearing that if I let my guard down and sit my ass down to enjoy an episode of "Raymond" for tonight instead of using it to program it would be like sticking a knife into the heart of my dreams .... If sometimes I find myself lulled by some corporate dream I quickly just look around my office and I quickly wake up. Some have remarked I am so passionate about learning up new things and why I am constantly wanting to challenge myself. I just smile and reply quietly inside It's the only way to be truly alive While it is the question that drives Mr Neo it is the fear that drives me ....
Dum -da Dum da dumb ArSe living up to his name calling out aloud thoughts in his head coz it's too hard for him to think them dum -da Dum dum. It's really a wonder how people in his position stay in that position for long. I tell ya if you go by his skills then the theory that monkeys can produce code just might be true. Just goes to show how far ball lickin' can get ya. Maybe I should see more of Jenna Jameson's tutorials on how to bet those feathery touches on a person balls. After all, it's not what you know, it's now how much you know, it's not how good you are, it's just about applying the right amount of pressure to those balls. Jumpin' when the boss says jump. Saying your favourite color for that frame you said looks ugly in white is white when your mofo boss says it's white. Hey ! who needs our individuality when it's so damn good to be in the collective to always be safe and obey orders ? Hey when you pay me enuff I can turn my back on friends. When that agong on that piece of paper is big enough hey I can even help install the phone in your residence although that has go no mofoing any relation to my job description ... but then hey ! job descripitions can change with that all familiar $$$ signs ... I really dunno what that dumbARsE puts in his resume but I guess it's got to be pretty close to this ...
Skills
Very well versed in using Granpa Bells creation. I am very well versed in dialing all sorts of extensions and numbers to get help just incase shit hits the fan. This will save me a lot of time while I concentrate on other more important tasks like writing emails and trying to find out the latest gossip from the grapevine.
I am also very experience in subtly replacing the word "my people" with the word "I" in sentences, for example... Yeah I coded that application. This helps me to climb to higher spots on the corporate latter by deluding my even dumber bosses of my skills and by stepping on my colleagues shoulders.
I can con people out of their efforts in all sorts of situation. This has been proven time and time again in my working life where I even conned some of my friends out of their lively hood
I can act really well. This has been proven as I can say one thing and do another thing by tricking people that understand what they explain to me when i don't know shit head of tail what they are trying to say coz I just have got some beef in between by ears
With a background of so many years of experience in the corporate world I have learnt to have clear division of duties and I never mix things that shouldn't be mixed. This is the reason I aways disengage my brain before I talk...
Preffered Working Envoriment
A place where there are enough good but frustrated talented people for me to use to cover up my baboonic level skills and where my managers only have a brain the size of a crocodile so that never figure out that one of their most important department is actually headed by a god damn baboon !
One of the better movies that I have seen is Seven.One scene that stuck with me prolly because it struck a chord with me was the scene where morgan freeman was going through John Doe's diaries and was reading a passage in it ...
"I met a man on the subway today ...I tried being accomodating and nice and I hardly noticed when I threw up all over him"
It strikes a chord with me .... because I have this trouble of the same sort. I am too nice and accomodate people too much ... there are just too many to list down on this whole page. Here are some that come to mind :
Trying to be interested in what the girl next is saying about her job or interest ( especially in wedding parties ) when actually I am more interested in looking at her panty hose legs or breasts .. :)
The now famous hallelujah incident in my uni. Please bug boar,ditesh or cherno for details on this one. Bet they would have a better time telling this than me :P
Listening to those damn avengelist or sales people when they are really interuppting my pr0n session inside ( Hey they did say it was gonna take only 5 mins but my running stop watch is already reading 5.31 minutes !! )
Listening to some dumb ass cousin who is trying to dispense important information on how I should be treating my mom .... at the same time trying not to fall asleep ( we can't have that now can we ??? )
Trying to be nice and courteous during funerals when I at most met the guy / lady maybe uh ... like 3 times in my life ?? This is really hard on me when I was younger as I was young and pretty naive and said some really dumb ass stuff during funerals ... hmmm now come to think of it I wasn't as accomodating then =). Now that I am older I have learnt the valueable lesson of being a bloody hypocrit and accomodate other people's feelings :P
Why are businesses and business in such as sad state ... well, the answer might just lie in the head ... they are ran by a bunch of conservative, closed assed old farts much evident from this article in freshmeat. Btw, I came accross the article while doing a search for "cool shit" in freshmeat.
Stuff and attributes you need to be a good Malaysian driver
A keen sixth sense to sense when the car infront of you is going to turn left or right. This is useful when mr signal guy infront either : a) hasn't figured out that motorised vehicle has a technology called signal lights or b) hasn't figure out how to off this newly found technology.
Lightning reflexes for manuvering your vehicle to avoid man holes, road patches etc. which are usually placed conviniently across the roads or right in the middle of it.
A backbone that has been bonded with the unbreakable adamantium metal just incase you couldn't avoid teh stuff above.
A long middle finger ( prefably bonded with adamantium too but not a must ) to show other road users how much you appreciate their "great" driving skills.
A foldable vehicle especially useful when you are parking your car near Jalan Bank in Kuantan near the end / beginning of the month so that you can get yourself out of double parking situations ( "hey everyone osso park like that what ??")
When we want to look for examples for the highest and purest form of the human spirit very often we have to look in the lowest and dirtiest nook and crannies of human life as the human spirit only shines in the darkest and in the most hopeless of situations. Like how a diamond is formed from coal by pressure, it takes the worst to bring out the best in us.
Everyweek when I bring my mom for our jogging session, I will often take a route through a small village. It is not a journey of necessity but a journey of humility that I take this route week after week as here in this simple smattering of modern plus traditional houses lives one the purest and highest form the indomitable human spirit. She is just a simple woman who lives in a small wooden hut by the edge of a drain. She has been robbed of her vision and lives alone in that hut. But what lifts her story from being pathetic is her plucky and fierce independant attitude towards life. I have never seen anyone around to help her in the many times I have passed her place nor have I seen just sitting feeling sorry for herself. Every time I pass by her place she is up and about doing some household chores... clearing up weeds in her garden, sweeping, so much so the first time when my mom told me that she was blind I had take a closer look as she looked normal from afar.
Her fierce independant nature is like her way of saying "Yes ! I am still here !!, Yes !! I am still alive". Her spirit soars and towers above all others like a huge stone cliff standing strong against the barraging waves below it. She expects no sympathy, no handouts from anyone just a space to live her life like the rest of us. For this I truly salute her ! Everytime after passing her house, I feel a smatter of humility and ashamed at my own frequent bitchin' of how tough my own life is and the stuff that I feel I cannot achieve. I just hope that one day I can even come up to 45% of her spirit.... I guess my only regret when writing this she will never be able to see what I wrote about her, for she is truly in the leagues of some one I respect deeply.
